나의 할머니는 1900년도에 태어나셨다. 안성 최부자집의 딸셋중 세째딸이었다. 16살에 15세인 할아버지 한테 안성에서 평택으로 시집오셔서 12년을 함께 사시고 아들 둘과 딸 하나를 낳으셨다. 할아버지를 일제침략 시절 25살의 젊은 나이로 요절 하셨고, 할머니는 28에 청상과부가 되어 고만 고만한 애들 셋을 홀로 키우기 시작하셨는데, 일본 식민지가 끝나고 한국전쟁을 겪으며 큰아들과 딸을 잃으셨다. 남은 자식은 막내아들 바로 나의 아버지다. 아버지가 고등학교 졸업반이었을때 한국전쟁이 발발하고, 아버지와 같은 학년의 소년들이 학도병으로 전쟁에 참석했다. 그때는 대한민국 군인이 안되면 북한군으로 끌려가는 상황이었기때문에 그당시의 대부분의 지식인들은 이미 사회주의 사상에 물들어있어서 많은 지식인들이 월북이나 북한군에 입대했다고한다. 아버지는 전쟁중에 육군에 입대해서 후방 물자 조달 부서에 복무하다 전쟁말 학업을 계속하러 서울로 상경한다, 그러나 전쟁후 대학시절, 생계가 어려워 다시 해군으로 정식 입대한다. 나의 할머니는 홀로 아들을 키우며 광주리 장사로 생계를 이어 가고 있었다. 60년대 초반 내가 태어났을땐 부모님들이 직장생활을 하느라 나는 항상 할머니 손에서 키워져야했다. 내가 조금 크자 할머니는 나를 데리고 야산이나 들을 다니며 먹을 수 있는 풀과 독풀을 가르쳐주셨다. 단 한순간도 일거리가 할머니 손에서 떠나는걸 본적이 없었다. 할머니는 나에게 정말 날것의 자연을 보게 해주셨고 또 그 자연에서 필요한것을 얻을 수 있는 스킬도 가르쳐주셨다. 할머니는 21세기를 코앞에 남겨두고 1999년 그리던 할아버지를 만나러 영면하셨다. 나에게 할머니는 수퍼우먼 그 자체였고 나의 롤모델이다.
할머니는 젊은 나이에 과부가 되어 어린 아버지를 키우셨고, 나중에는 우리 4남매를 훈육하시고 돌보셨다.
오늘같이 할머니가 그리운날은 그녀의 사진을 한참 들여다보고 할머니에게 예기를 한다. 너무 그립고 너무 사랑하고 너무 존경합니다.
My grandmother was born in 1900. She was the third of three daughters of the wealthy Choi family in Anseong. At the age of 16, she married my grandfather, who was 15, moving from Anseong to Pyeongtaek. They lived together for 12 years, during which she gave birth to two sons and one daughter. My grandfather passed away at the young age of 27 during the Japanese colonial period, and my grandmother became a young widow at 28, raising three children of similar age on her own. However, after the end of the Japanese colonial rule and during the Korean War, she lost her eldest son and daughter. The only child remaining was her youngest son, my father. The Korean War broke out when my father was in his final year of high school, and boys in his grade participated in the war as student soldiers. At that time, the situation was such that if one could not become a South Korean soldier, they would be conscripted into the North Korean army. Since most intellectuals of the era were already steeped in socialist ideology, it is said that many of them either defected to the North or enlisted in the North Korean military. My father enlisted in the South Korean army during the war and served in a rear-area supply department; towards the end of the war, he moved to Seoul to continue studies. However, during his college years after the war, He formally re-enlisted in the Navy due to financial hardship. My grandmother supported herself by selling baskets while raising her son alone. When I was born in the early 1960s, my parents were working, so I had to be raised by my grandmother at all times. As I grew a little older, she would take me to the hills and fields to teach me which plants were edible and which were poisonous. I never saw work leave her hands for even a single moment. She allowed me to see nature in its raw state and taught me the skills to obtain what I needed from it. With the 21st century just around the corner, my grandmother passed away in 1999 to meet my grandfather, whom she had longed to see.
My grandmother became a widow at a young age and raised my young father, and later she disciplined and cared for us four siblings.
To me, my grandmother was the very definition of a superwoman and my role model. On days like today when I miss her, I gaze at her photos for a long time and speak to her. I miss her so much, I love her so much, and I respect her so much.
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